When I teach musicianship through singing, I think of it as having several levels of skills. This is my personal mental structure:
On the first floor is the ability to keep and then alter, in a controlled manner, a range of elements. These are pulse(beat), rhythm, tempo, dynamics and pitch. The ability to improvise simple rhythms and lyrics is also on this level.
Next level up, I would place "inner hearing". This means singing along in your your head, to a silent room, but coming out loud with the the correct pitch and tempo at any point. Lots of people find they've accidentally speeded up, or can't hit the right note to rejoin the tune with these kind of exercises, unless they get lots of practice. Also at this level, I put the ability to sing call and response, to recognise phrases and to sing selected phrases of a piece, unaccompanied.
On the third floor I'd put the ability to hold a drone, to keep simple harmony, to sing a round or canon and to sing part songs. For instruments, playing by ear. At this level you can do two things at once, or hold two aspects of music in your head at the same time, and it's crucial for being able to make music with other people, and for playing an instrument like the piano.
On the fourth floor you get a kind of synthesis of these things. People at this level can improvise to a melody, improvise a harmony, and play an instrument by ear. On this level you can really feel the shape of a piece and give it expressiveness by the use of elements from level one. Certain things can also become automatic, such as keeping a complex rhythm while clapping, and then singing a melody with a different rhythm over the top.
And the top floor is that of really great musicians who can use all these things to create something greater than the sum of it's parts.
The development of these skills in music is very hierarchical, like maths. So sometimes people have missed something and can play an instrument to a high level with a score, but can't play by ear or improvise. It's worth noting that although all this can be achieved without much theoretical knowledge, it is actually the foundation of a deep understanding of music theory. Theory without musicianship, however, is like a building with no foundation and can lead to a lot of confusion later on.
Darn, just noticed I have not actually answered the question directly. Sorry, but I'd say in light of the original paragraphs above, musicianship is not something that can be learned from books. You have to do it.