Timeline for How to relax my wrists?
Current License: CC BY-SA 3.0
5 events
| when toggle format | what | by | license | comment | |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Dec 17, 2012 at 10:24 | comment | added | luser droog | What about bold? "... more fluid. Also, think about ..." | |
| Dec 17, 2012 at 9:54 | comment | added | nonpop | @luserdroog: Thanks for your comment! I added some reasons for the teacher thing. However, I'm not sure how to fix the alsos because, even though they're kind of their own points, they still connect to the rest of the paragraph. | |
| Dec 17, 2012 at 9:53 | history | edited | nonpop | CC BY-SA 3.0 |
added 770 characters in body
|
| Dec 17, 2012 at 0:31 | comment | added | luser droog | +1 Good stuff, but your paragraph structure hides some of the ideas (both of the 'also...'s). Maybe bullet-points would help. And to be hypercritical, you don't really present any arguments for why a teacher is essential, so the last paragraph is just a repetition of the first. It's not bad, just rhetorically weak. ...HTH. :) | |
| Dec 16, 2012 at 10:20 | history | answered | nonpop | CC BY-SA 3.0 |