Last weekend was the recital for a music school near me. One of my students walked off the stage in frustration. She is a sweet teenager and is talented also.

I wonder what words can I use to encourage and build her confidence up?

  • Welcome! I'm glad you're looking to help her. This question needs some fine-tuning, though. First, glance over the topics that are covered here. Stage fright and frustration definitely fall among these topics, and there's been a lot asked and answered about them here already; try searching some of the past questions. Check out also how to avoid subjective answers. And finally, every student (and teacher) is different. Can you tell any more about the specific challenge she's facing? One might... Feb 26 at 15:39
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    ... One might leave the stage in a lot of different moods (terror, embarrassment, anger) and for a lot of reasons (generalized social anxiety, specific concerns about this piece, overall frustration at self, build up of stress from lots of external sources). And while I would definitely connect with her, I wouldn't assume that "magic words" could fix everything. I'd start by listening most of all! Feb 26 at 15:40
  • Finally, although the question-and-answer format here isn't intended to cater to open-ended broad discussion, there is also a chat channel where all the rules about valid questions don't apply. You need 20 points to participate, but that can be gained very easily. Feb 26 at 15:42
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    Did she want to perform at the recital or was she required to do it? Feb 26 at 16:15
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    I’m voting to close this question because it's about interpersonal skills, not music. Questions about stage fright might be on-topic, how to handle someone who has it isn't. It's also likely to be answered with opinions, not facts.
    – PiedPiper
    Feb 27 at 8:22

2 Answers 2


Is she STILL your student? She returned for her next lesson? Good. Let her raise the subject if she wants to. Listen, don't try to 'fix it'.


Remember to be human. Go with Laurence's answer first... leave it alone unless she brings it up. Then, share a story from your own life about a frustrating or difficult/embarrassing situation you lived through. Sometimes it helps to know that even the "experts" stumble along the way.

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