The drummer I am working with, Brendan, uses this method which he would call the "Metronome Reduction" to improve the innate ability to keep time. He made a YouTube video on this actually:
Metronome Reduction Video Tutorial
In case sharing a YouTube link is not allowed, I am explaining it here with text too.
Basically what you will do is to pick a groove, perhaps 8 bars, start your metronome at the tempo where you hear a click on every beat. If you are playing in 4/4, you will then hear four clicks per bar.
Once you are comfortable with that, go ahead and divide that tempo by 2, so the metronome only clicks once every two beats--you'll hear two clicks per bar.
Notice that you are not playing any slower or faster, you are essentially playing at the same speed. The only thing that has changed is your reference clicks from the metronome.
It goes from one click every beat, to one click every two beats.
So moving on, you can stretch it to one click every four beats, which essentially is one click per bar. You can of course go as far as one click every two bars, every four bars, or even once click every eight bars, which in this case is the entire groove!
Doing so, you are training your brain to perceive the sense of pulse, first with a lot of help from the metronome, then gradually you remove your dependency on it!
Incorporate this into your daily practice routine and you'll see results for sure. This metronome exercise should help you improve your sense of time, or in your case, you'll have a better idea when to come in and join you band buddies!