I am a deeply technical/mathematical person. I do enjoy understanding stuff around me and this curiosity was one of the reasons I started playing guitar few years ago: I wanted to understand how it works. I'm that kind of guy who asks the teacher a lot of weird technicalities, starting from how instruments are made up to why music is the way it is.
Unfortunately, this made playing a never ending practice. Basically, I'd pick a song, get its tab/music sheet, practice it for ages (also, I'm a perfectionist; a little mistake means usually starting over), and after hours and hours of practice i'd make it. Then, while "performing", i'd add a hint of something of me. Not too much.
You can easily see my issue here. I basically managed to transform playing from an art to a mathematical routine, where each note is a number in an equation. Basically, I cannot speak music. This is also enhanced by the fact that I need some practice to feel the rhythm (e.g. while playing on a backing track), and huge issues with conveying it (for example, if I play fingerstyle, my accents are usually a finger convenience rather than something that convey a rhythm). Notes durations are basically a way of saying "this is kind of longer than this". As for my hearing skills, I can pick up disonances and consonances, I can tell some pitch differences, but I have no relative pitch or anything else.
Now, I'd love to start playing again, but I'd like to actually enjoy it, to be able to "speak" music and "talk" to others (currently, if you get me a backing track, I'll see that it's in Am, I know the notes in the scale, do my random stuff while the backing is playing). Do you have any tips for me?
Edit: (Just some small clarifications) The perfectionism I mentioned above makes me waste a lot of time, but I do not think it is the real problem. The real problem I find it to be the fact that I am not able to "speak" music. For me, playing has become following a recipe, like a robot, unaware of the surroundings. This has happened because my native skills are not the best, and I guess it was easier for me.
I had some "clicks" during my practice period, when I started feeling the consonances and disonances, when I started feeling the harmony between my voice and the instrument and so on (you can easily see that my ear also needs some training). But I'm looking for a way to move from blindly following a music sheet into the ability to make the music mean something more then a bunch of notes on a score. And the best example is that when I try to play on some backing track meant for improvisation, I end up randomly picking notes rather than having some feel to what I'm playing.