I've recently graduated from college and started playing guitar again with my spare time with the full intention of playing with others. It's fun, I'm progressing decently, and I'd like nothing better than to find somebody else to play with and liven up my usual routine of sitting in my bedroom for two hours practicing scales.

The problem is, I have never, ever, not once met somebody who's interested in playing an instrument, let alone with another person. I was led to believe by the internet that just playing an instrument in public or moving around different groups of friends and family would magically reveal people that would want to start a garage band or something, but so far nothing. This was a problem in highschool, it was a problem in college, and it's a problem now.

And to be honest, it's really depressing to practice with the understanding that I could learn how to play like Hendrix and still be practicing by myself in my bedroom for potentially the rest of my life. It's gotten to the point that this feeling of loneliness is starting to cut into my drive to practice regularly.

My question is twofold:

Firstly, is it natural to feel lonely when practicing to the point that it starts to make practicing unpleasant?

Secondly, what kind of techniques or tools can I employ to find people to play with if my existing friends, family, and neighbors aren't interested? The questions I can get ahold of on this site just stop at looking for preexisting friends that would want to play with you or hoping to find people through playing publicly. Eight years later and that hasn't worked for me.

  • And please don't learn too hard to become another Jimi Hendrix, one is enough! Feb 9, 2017 at 7:07
  • Hi there, welcome. I know the search engine on SE isn't the most intuitive, but we have a number of questions on this topic. I have linked to the best duplicate. The psychology bit of your question is off topic, I'm afraid - it's just human psychology.
    – Doktor Mayhem
    Feb 9, 2017 at 7:20
  • Record and upload on youtube, you will find guitar enthusiasts alike, or by all means be criticized, which is good. It also gives you a sense that your effort is eternally perserved into a certain extent, and this may be a solace. Feb 11, 2017 at 7:08

1 Answer 1


I understand you. I've this problem a lot, not due to the lack of people who would want to play together though, but due to the fact that all those people that, here in my city, gather into groups, mostly play shitty music and are very poor in music both theoreticaly and practicaly.

Considering your first question:

You always only do scales and enhance your technique? If so you are really put in a corner there. Try composing a bit, try playing some songs or pieces. Scales, arpeggios, different exercises are good but if do them only all of your time, that's very boring. I often did 50/50. And even when I hadn't an instrument at hand, i still composed, but in my head.

If you make a few of your own songs, especially with vocals, you might have a better chance of starting your own band where you'd be the leader.

Important notice: Try to find people who are technically as good as you are or at least close to that. With people who are not it's hard to work together, you have problems all time through. Imagine you want your bass player to play some wonderful lick that fits into your piece and he can't, that'll be a problem until he learns that. Or you'll have to simplify.

If you have a city forum try looking for musicians there. Try Facebook or Instagram or Twitter or any other social network.

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