Several excellent answers have been posted about the general relationship of theory to creativity.
As to your situation in particular, it's entirely natural for you to feel the way you do because you are still at the beginning of your studies. You are dealing with a learning curve, which makes you feel constrained and encumbered.
That's only because it's still new material: Our brains have certain limitations regarding how much they can absorb and deal with at one time. If your mental resources are devoted to thinking about theory, naturally your creative energy will be diminished.
Once you get over the initial learning curve and become familiar and fluent with the fundamentals of theory, that will change. The theory will become instinctive - a natural part of your creative vocabulary. Then theory will become a tool to serve you, instead of an obstacle.
The stipulation is that you follow the advice given in some of the other answers, which perhaps could be distilled this way:
For musicians and composers (to exclude pedagogues and scholars) theory is a tool that helps you create music, not a goal unto itself - a "means", not an "end".
Bottom Line:
can some one understand me, can some one ease my fears, is there a way
to get deeper without losing this innocence, is there a way that
knowing music theory will even increase creativity ?
Not to worry: With the possible exception of a few very rare geniuses, everyone has to learn. Beethoven studied hard with several teachers when he was a teenager and young man, precisely because he was very aware of his boundless innate talent for composition, and knew he needed to learn the tools necessary to unlock it. He was never afraid of 'losing his innocence' - just the opposite.
Paul McCartney was musically illiterate in the traditional sense during the early Beatle years. But as he progressed, became rich and famous and had a chance to reflect on his unlocked potential and how much he didn't know, he learned how to read and write music and deal with theory. He even wrote some classical stuff. Many others have followed similar routes.
If you have talent, learning (with the correct approach - a different subject entirely) will not destroy your talent, although the learning process may sometimes mask it and seem to hold you back. "Innocence" is not the same as talent - that point might be confusing you, and it's you talent that's important, not your "innocence".
Once you have learned your lessons well, you will be able to leverage your talent to a far greater extent - writing music is not just an art, but also a craft - a skill. To get good at it requires study, training and practice.