50 years old , haven't sung a note in my life, but

Question

So my friend has been given a few months to live. She is incredibly strong and makes me feel like a coward for not having courage to do things that have interested me , but my fear of failure always held me back. Yet here she is facing her death without a hint of fear. So we are putting together a celebration of life for her. People will be Singing, bands will be playing, speakers , family members sharing stories. So in an attempt to change my outlook I thought I would use this as an opportunity to sing a song to her. To show her that she has inspired me to start facing my fears in life. The problem is I've never sung a note my life. 44 years ago, I weaseled out of a school play that involved singing. I could not deal with attention of any sort. I was physically and sexually abused a few years prior and I couldn't handle any sort of attention. I just wanted to hide and not be noticed by anyone. After all these years I can remember the teacher in charge saying " it's too bad you refuse to take part. You have one of the best voices participatin " Those words stuck with me until now. I feel like I sound terrible and can barely hit a note Yet I downloaded one of those phone apps that gets you to hit notes a d sustain them. I was quite surprised to hit some very high notes for a man of 50 years (A3) it has given me hope with some help it may be possible to actually sing and not embarrass myself. My question Is or my questions are do those apps really work ? Where should I go to get real help that won't put me in a situatio to feel unworthy or not good enough. Any techniques to improve quickly? Basically anything you can tell me to quietly achieve my goal without putting myself in situations where I will be laughed at. I struggle dearly with this. Im on 2 types of anti depressants / anti anxiety meds Just going to get grocery is a task not looked at with anticipation. I know you're thinking this dude wants to go on stage and preform when he can barely go buy groceries? Yes and I've never sang a song. I'm fairly certain my voice sounds like a bag of pots and pans clanging together. The song I have chosen is no campfire song either it's John Legend-All of me. I know right nothing like starting off easy.i would love to hear something other than "you're nuts" Like my friends have said. Which is actually giving me a bit more determination , as if that were possible

Hope to hear from you soon Regards the vocal newb without a clue Mig

Answer 1

First of all: I'm really sorry to hear about your friend. What you're aiming to do is absolutely fantastic, I hope she likes it - and as the first comment above says, the important part is in the doing, not so much how good you are (although no harm in making a nice noise !).

Don't let ANYONE tell you "you're nuts". If you want to do this, I thnk that makes you something of a legend.

I don't know about those apps but if you can get to A3 then you've probably got most pop/rock songs covered.

Regards getting help quickly:

• See a vocal coach/tutor. I never have myself (been singing rock for 30 years) but the advice I've read on this site which has come from a singing coach/tutor has helped, so if you want to make quick progress, that's probably a good start.

• Sing. A lot. By which I mean .. in the car, in the shower, in a lift, anywhere. just keep at it.

• But don't tire yourself out. The vocal chords are operated by a set of muscles like anything else, and they can get strained, pulled etc so if it starts to ache or hurt, give it a rest for a day or so.

• Don't practice, just sing. Sing because you like it. I know that sounds really happy-clappy-hippy but if your'e enjoying yourself, it comes across and is often what turns someone just mumbling lines or going through the ropes into a really great performance. Also, it's really the only way of getting better :-)

• Re nerves (or fear of ebing laughed at): I was very shy about singing at first, and here's what helped me out:

  • Think about why you're doing this. Is it to impress everyone? Doesn't sound like it. It seems to me that there's something much deeper, for your friend and for your own confidence, which drives you- so try to put the opinions of nay-sayers in the bucket they need to be: irrelevant cynicism.
  • No-one wants to hear apologetic singing from someone who'd rather not be there. That does not float the boats, for the audience or the performer. So when you get a chance, sing your tits off and like you mean it, with no apology. It comes out how it comes out, and that's that. If someone doens't like it --------- hot news get ready --------> so what?

I'm not sure I've ever answered a question on stackoverflow with such urgency .. I really hope you go for this & enjoy it !

Answer 2

I like that, vocal newb without a clue. Might I add that you seem to have a voice. User 2808054 has all the correct answers. Your voice is a muscle, work up gradually. Love what you are doing and it will show when you do it. A vocal coach will show you how to protect your gift, how to breathe properly to conserve energy and to hit the notes with good intonation. Just one other word, prior to singing to your lovely friend, sing to somebody else first, maybe that room mate and you will know where your nervousness will make your singing fail and that knowledge will arm you against doing just that. Your friend will be carried away with your efforts. All the best, and continue to do what you love and love what you do. E

Answer 3

You aren't looking for vocal hints, you're looking for confidence. Maybe your friend's situation will help you find it. We both know that none of the life factors you mentioned have anything to do with vocal technique, don't we?

This really is a classic case of 'just do it'. Get the recording of the song you want to perform. I don't know it, but presumably it has some relevance to you and your friend? Sing along with it. Don't think vocal technique, just imitate. You'll be OK. Give your friend my love.