As a drummer, I'm expected to provide a metronome-like precision and a foundation to a band. When playing in a band and having an instrument (i.e. guitar) which doesn't play in time correctly or is having tempo issues (speed-up most of the time), I am unable to keep the steady rhythm along.
I tend to follow the melody of the voice or the solo instrument, and this gets me out of balance. Sometimes I even notice that we are speeding up but am just unable to tame the beast, so to speak. At other times, when the tempo is shaky due to variability in the melodic phrases, I am having troubles playing a steady groove while even looking at the metronome. I literally have a feeling that the metronome is wrong.
While I understand this is due to the influence of the other instruments (and I say this because I've played alone, with the metronome, and other musicians and the results were completely different), my question is how to work with this?
I'm sure many performing musicians have been through some similar experiences and I'm wondering what they do about it and/or what are some common practical recommendations in such cases. Do you simply need to learn to ignore what you hear (the opposite of what the music is for me)?
Edit: In this specific scenario I'm talking about country/rock, where groove is 85% of the song, in my opinion.